A Bitch’s Rant

Ever wondered why you don’t get hugged?

Ever wondered why other Indian men get hugged and you don’t?

Because women don’t think you are trustworthy.

Indian women don’t even walk down the street looking up because they are afraid of what they’ll have shoved down their retinas: some guy exposing themselves publicly, some guy leering at them, some guy making lewd gestures.

As a woman, I am less concerned about this happening in Mumbai than I am in Delhi. In Calcutta a woman has to but speak up, and she will be assisted.

In Delhi, the men will team up, usually, against you. They will tell you you are ‘imagining it’. They will challenge you, and hope you engage more with them. They will disrupt your work, your training, your day, hoping you will talk to them (yelling counts), look at them (with disgust counts).

I had two such experiences at the National Sports Club of India, Delhi within 12 months. The first, last year, when a 70-something man took to the practice of taking off his swim trunks underwater and swimming naked, and calmly putting them back on in the shallow water as he walked. Disgusted beyond belief, I wrote a letter to NSCI administration, identifying the guy, asking them to ban this man from the pool, or I WILL take it up with the police.

NSCI is an old boys’ club. They took notice of the complaint a woman had bothered to give to them in writing, and did precisely nothing.

Come Monday, Mr. Regaling-Others-with-his-Shriveled-Penis was back in the pool, and I called the cops. As promised.

The cops came, they all banded together, and did their best to persuade me, and the cops, how ‘that never happened, and she’s making it up.’

bitchToday, I was swimming along the black line of the pool, so taking up precisely two feet of width of the pool. Along comes another manatee with absolutely no sense of direction, and not a care as to who he bumps into (because his bumping into people is other people’s problem, not his), comes closer and closer to me each lap. (Like they can’t see who is doing laps up and down the pool, and it’s a total surprise), and voila! Bumps right into me. No sorry, he can’t be concerned. He’s in the deep blue of the Caribbean, and he’s the only manatee in the ocean. I lost it there. ‘WTF? Why are you bumping into me?’ And here’s the classic excuse: I was swimming.

What you were doing, you sorry excuse of a man, is not caring for manners or civic sense. You don’t get modern or Western by learning English, donning swim trunks and flailing about in the water aimlessly like a disoriented whale. What you did was RUDE. Anyone with HALF a sense of propriety and honor would:

  1. Pay ATTENTION to where other swimmers are, and AVOID TOUCHING THEM
  2. Pay special respect to people who are WORKING HARD and DON’T COME IN THEIR WAY. Believe it or not, it obstructs their practice.
  3. If you DO bump into someone, there is a foreign custom invented clearly by Westerners and is NOT part of YOUR culture, its called apologizing.

You do NOT tell her to mind her manners when she cusses at you, call her a bitch, and ‘meet me outside’. What? A woman not wanting your irresistible hairy paws on her? Impossible.

THIS is why women never hug you. You are a crass wolf with something called Ego you mistake for Honor.

Women, like children, are like wild animals. They will approach you if they trust you. This is why men like you don’t get hugged: because you don’t deserve to. This is why Indian women think twice about hugging Indian men – they don’t know if they will be touched inappropriately when the man takes advance of that windfall gain of a the proximity of a woman within grabbing distance.

And this is the price every decent, honorable man pays for dicks like you – a woman will think twice when she looks at even those who deserve to be hugged.

And you? You will pay a price and will not even know it. You will live your miserable existence without the love of a woman. Because without trust, there is no love.

And I can hear your response to this blog as a I write it:

‘Huh? This bitch is crazy’.


3 thoughts on “A Bitch’s Rant

  1. Loved it! I too experienced all this without even getting into the pool…just didn’t know how to express it like you do! Thanks for writing on our behalf 🙂

  2. I had recently returned from Germany and was traveling Bombay-Delhi. During mid-flight, fellow passenger on my left asked the air hostess for two glasses with some ice. Promptly, he pulled out a quarter litre whiskey from the inner pocket of his jacket. I declined his offer but he drank it all. Besides breaking the law, he kept misbehaving with the air hostess as if she was his personal maid. She kept quiet (out of docile up bringing perhaps). I asked for the pilot, got someone else instead from the cockpit, insisted firmly he organize to get police upon landing to arrest this irresponsible rascal. And sure they DID after the police asked me to identify him as he walked off the aircraft. After his arrest on the spot, I went home conflicted; happy to have got him into police custody and sad for why people don’t speak up.

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